Forgiveness and Gratitude as Tool of
Healthy Communication
Abstract
Communication between two or more people depends on an individual’s behavior and attitude. Sometimes barriers to healthy
communication cause stress. Gratitude and forgiveness are the tools for stress release.
This paper shows, how people use gratitude and forgiveness for others to
establish healthy communication. It evaluates two different states of
communication and compares them with the processes developed by Mary Hayes Grieco
and Sandy Walker. The findings show that the use of gratitude and forgiveness during
communication can be the best tool to avoid stress at the initial stage.
Introduction
Gratitude means a state of being grateful[1].
Where forgiveness is a tool to cease to feel resentment toward any offender[2]. These
two things, forgiveness and gratitude, are related to psychology. They play a
role in determining to attitude and behaviour of a person towards others. During
communication people often get hurt by another view, which may cause stress and tension
or abnormal behaviour. Relation between two or more people depends on communication.
After all human beings are social animals.
In terms of psychology gratitude and forgiveness can be
described as a presses of stress release. The dictionary meaning is very
simple, but in terms of psychology, they are complex and entail various stages
as a tool of stress management. “Gratitude involves both acknowledging good
things that happen – being mindful of present benefits – and recognizing that
the sources of goodness are outside us”[3]. While
forgiveness is the flip side of gratitude, it involves responding positively to
transgressions by offering mercy instead of vengeance[4].
These terms of psychology relate to one’s behaviour and attitude
toward oneself. During communication, these things are found in response to
other parties' communication and are generally obeyed in response to
someone’s behaviour and attitude. Practicing gratitude and forgiveness is a
strategy for choosing happiness. Communication is a process by which
information is exchanged between individuals through a common system of symbols,
signs, or behavior [5].
A healthy communication is a transaction of information without any barrier and
includes feedback. Stress can be a barrier to communication, which may be
released after management.
According to Inner Peace, Jampolsky, and Friedman, there are
seven criteria for defining forgiveness[6]:
(a) a shift in perception and vision,(c) a shift in affects,(b) a shift in beliefs and attitudes,
(d) a shift in self-empowerment and self-responsibility,
(e) a shift in choice, decision and intention,
(f) a shift from duality consciousness to oneness consciousness, and(g) a shift in the recognition of the core qualities of a person.
Forgiveness increases tolerance when an individual abandons
emotionally supported judgments and complaints and attacks thoughts and
opinions towards themselves and others so that they can sense goodness, value,
greatness, innocence, love, and peace in themselves and others at the same time.
According to McCullough gratitude is ‘‘a generalized
tendency to recognize and respond with grateful emotion to the roles of other
people’s benevolence in the positive experiences and outcomes that one
obtains’’[7]. In
broader conceptualizations gratitude is ‘‘an emotion, an attitude, a moral
virtue, a habit, a personality trait, or a coping response’’[8].
Friedman defines gratitude as being thankful which includes
response towards[9]:
(a) people, situations, and circumstances in life,(b) what you have received, experienced, and learned,(c) spiritual source/resources within,(d) abundance within,(e) what you give and forgive,(f) your inner qualities, and(g) future positive experiences, prosperity, and blessings
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[4]
Ibid
[6]
Loren Toussaint and Philip H. Friedman “Forgiveness, Gratitude, and Well-Being:
The Mediating Role of Affect and Beliefs” Journal of Happiness Studies,
December 2008,
[7]
McCullough, M. E., Emmons, R. A., & Tsang, J.-A. (2002). The grateful
disposition: A conceptual and
Empirical topography. Journal of Personality and
Social Psychology, 82, 112–127.
[8]
Emmons, R. A., & McCullough, M. E. (2003). Counting blessings versus
burdens: An experimental
Investigation of gratitude and subjective well-being
in daily life. Journal of Personality and Social
Psychology, 84, 377–389.
doi:10.1037/0022-3514.84.2.377.
[9]
Loren Toussaint and Philip H. Friedman “Forgiveness, Gratitude, and Well-Being:
The Mediating Role of Affect and Beliefs” Journal of Happiness Studies, December
2008,